My original spring break plans were to go to Seattle, Portland and San Francisco, but half a week ahead of time, the whole thing got canceled because apparently I was the only one interested. Instead I had to come up an alternative adventure, and ultimately decided I'd go visit my friend in Oceanside. A few things led up to that though. Sunday BoA was having a signing in Pasadena, which is basically my backyard, how could I pass that up. I waited in line for 2 hours with Yoko and even though the line wrapped around the building, and I thought we had a good spot, she only signed for about a fraction of it. It was alright though, I kinda felt bad for her anyway. Early in the week I helped my mom set up her classroom (which I hate to do) and then Thursday was a shocker, I took driving lessons. Illegally too haha, because I didn't have a permit. It was a 2 hour lesson, driving around my neighborhood, and was surprisingly not as bad as I was expecting. I can't imagine getting on the freeway though, oh god. Then Friday I took the train to Oceanside and spent my whole weekend there, having a great time. I hadn't been to the beach in awhile and it was nice to get away from the usual sights.

April 29th, Rufus Wainwright is coming nearby to Anaheim so I'm excited to see him again (albeit a solo show). And of course VAMPS will be going all over the place this summer. I think I'll only go to the LA Wiltern show. It's funny to me that 3 years ago I was flipping out that Hyde was even coming to the west coast and I made my best effort to go to all 4 shows, but this year I'm like "oh hey, he's coming to LA, I guess I should go". Kinda sad, but hey, I'm not gonna lie, VAMPS is my L'Arc/Hyde boner killer and it isn't until L'Arc comes back will I flip out like I did 3 years ago. I could really go for a REAL era flashback.

Happy Singles Awareness everyone!
I submitted that drawing in a "Anti-Valentines Day" show tonight, haha. Cliche I guess.

Striped Carnation = "No, Sorry, I cannot be with you"
Orange Mock = "Deceit"

I'm obsessed with the view from my window.

( other time views )

Compared to last year, I made my ceramic roses more complex and larger. I actually didn't think I was doing anything different til I moved home last night and saw the tiny ones I made last year. I donated the last two roses on the right to an Autism and Asperger's Benefit Show in downtown pomona last night. I didn't go, but I got word that the red rose sold, so I'm really happy about that. Something I created was on display and purchased by a stranger. This is the beginning.

I'm at a point in my life where I'm in the middle of transition. My taste and interests are shifting and I'm slowly shaking off my old worn-out self. I still don't know what I'm doing and I'm still making stupid mistakes but that's the point. I'm scared about my future but I also feel oddly in control (determined). I feel a severe lack of support from my parents but I don't need it. I want to work hard and prove them wrong, all by myself, and FOR myself. The art world, it's like walking into a dark tunnel. I also want to move away. I'm thinking of Portland in the future, after I go to grad school. And for that I'm thinking Art Center in Pasadena but if possible, elsewhere would be nice. I need to get off my lazy ass and create a kick ass portfolio to get a scholarship or something. I NEED TO GROW UP. I'm also in an odd position with my friends. After my revolutionary boy drama where friendships seem to have ruptured I wonder if I'm as vital as I think I am or if I'm capable of going it alone. I've been so disillusioned.

I also want to point out how much I love my new layout. Thanks Mel for the background ♥

omg I didn't know she had an egg with her too! how cute. I didn't think I'd ever get into her music, but I have. Songs that I thought were ridiculous and beyond comprehension in the past are now very emotional and beautiful to me. You guys probably think I'm insane now.

Yesterday was technically my first gallery showing, in downtown pomona. One of my painting classmates plans on becoming a gallery owner as a career, and managed to get hold of an empty space downtown. He invited all painting students past and present to show some of their work. I didn't have any new work to show, so I assembled some old work and thew it in. For some reason I was embarrassed by my work though, since everyone else had abstract type of work, and I suddenly felt unoriginal and cliche (ironic?). But when I got there and people complimented me, I was relieved. I have low self-esteem as an artist sometimes (not fishing for compliments btw).

That movie I made with my friends won best comedy in the campus movie festival, so it moves up to compete in San Francisco this upcoming weekend. I'm going with the whole cast, so that'll be fun to escape pomona (maybe). Hopefully I can visit Fawn.

A peek into what part of my room currently looks like.

I can't believe I haven't updated since the school year has started. I guess I've been relatively busy. Before classes started, I volunteered for this thing called Welcome Week, which is essentially a few days before school starts where volunteers like me get freshmen pumped up for their college experience. I didn't necessarily want to do it since I'm not that type of person, but I got to move back into the suites a week early and see all my friends again, so I didn't really complain. The training for WW was ridiculous though, icebreakers and stuff from 9am - 9pm?? And then, as usual, classes were difficult to obtain again, but I managed to nab Clay, Intermediate Painting (for the 3rd time), Life Drawing (naked models) and Health Psychology. Thankfully this time around I can do whatever I want in Painting. One of my classmates is even setting up a gallery opportunity in 3 weeks, so hopefully I can paint something before then to hang there. I've been kinda obsessed with Shiina again, so I kinda wanna do an oil painting of her.

Other than that, I've participated in a bike heist, was in a mini campus movie made by my friends about a bike gang, am actually in a bike gang with my friends who I got to name "hot wheels," am watching curb your enthusiasm, got a job as a front desk assistant at my suites (thank god), but mainly, am just severely, and I mean severely, caught up in boy drama.

Just got back from the Radiohead concert. It was sooo amazing. So many of my favorite songs were played; Pyramid Song, There There, Nude, No Surprises, Planet Telex, The Bends, Karma Police, Fake Plastic Trees... I even almost cried at 3 of those (N, NS, FPT). I was surprised they even played most of those. The obvious downside were potheads and people wandering around my seat (I was on the aisle) but it was still a great show. The visuals were pretty cool too.